How to Introduce Yourself to Newborn Babies

“Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies—God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.” -Kurt Vonnegut, God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater

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